Debunking a myth  

The saying goes: if you repeat a lie over and over again, people will come to believe it.

Now, how many times have you heard “oh, our pastor is very strict, he holds the line a la Vicovu de Sus – otherwise, if it were not for him, people will get worse and worse, pretty much like most other churches out there – have you seen the way they dress?

That’s my kind of pastor – he holds the line”.

Well, I have news for you – the notion that being strict and regimental holds everything together is a lie from Satan and a myth. Jesus said I will build my church, and in a different passage, God said I will not give my glory to others. First, whoever believes this “holding the line business” shows that he has no faith in the power of God’s word that can transform lives.

Second, by believing this, you actually become an enabler encouraging the pastor to feel all powerful, self-important and arrogant - sort of a cult leader.

Third, by classifying this stiff, narrow-minded and controlling attitude as a virtue, you basically allow a pastor to get away with all sorts of abuses, like the abuse of power, under the excuse of having a holy goal. You see, he does it for the Lord.

The truth is that the main leverage available for a pastor to influence people is to be an example himself, to be a person with character and integrity and to practice what he preaches. God has not called him to be some legalistic enforcer in chief, but to go out and spread the seeds and the Holy Spirit will handle the rest (germination and growing process).

There is a great temptation for pastors to play cops – that urge comes from the flesh, but it is cleverly masked by appearing of being full of zeal for God. I have personally witnessed in awe how an angry pastor stood up in the middle of the service saying “I am asking this young man from the youth group to get out of the church right now because I asked him yesterday to get a haircut and he did not”. I was stunned by the rudeness, the brazen intrusion into somebody’s personal life, dictating the way one should dress. What was even more sad, was the fact that most people around me considered that normal. We, as a church, are guilty of creating such a culture that breeds dictator pastors. Another time the same pastor approaches some young guys in the church parking lot and starts petting one down asking where he hid the cigarettes – not to mention the guy never smoked, being visibly humiliated. Checking the bride’s dress a day before the wedding to be up to his arbitrary standard was another normal operation procedure in our church. A bride dreams about her wedding day ever since she is a little girl, only to be brought to tears by an unflinching pastor the night before the wedding. With a frown he calls the dress unacceptable – the train is too long and needs to be cut.

In reality, it is impossible to monitor and micromanage somebody’s life, nor should it be tried. Paul says “do not lord over their faith”. If you measure somebody’s spiritual life based on how he acts in church on Sunday morning, you missed the 99% of it. Surely, he will put on a good show, a carefully crafted mask of holiness, but most likely he is a totally different person on the outside. He will abide by your enforced legalistic rules by putting on display a fake behavior for public consumption. So, the end result of your strictness is that you have created another hypocrite, one that will quickly learn how to have a dual life without being truly transformed on the inside. Can somebody tell me how is this good for the church?

A legalistic church breeds hypocrisy and an obsession with looking good on the outside. Jesus had some harsh words for the Pharisees calling them rotten graves on the inside, but clean on the outside.

So, pastors, please don’t grab the club and go on a holy rampage to enforce your little rules on the flock, spend more time on your knees, put more love and passion in what you do, and show love and humility – it is the only way to win people.

I hope I debunked the myth of “oh, our pastor is very strict he holds the line”.

Nick Rosioru  

paxelectric@hotmail. com